Okay. So its not quite working out. I tried to make it work but it didn't. I guess thats life. It really sucks though when you would do anything for the one you love and they completely take you for granite. I mean how can you tell someone that you love them and you want to be with them to only hurt them in the end. Not just once either. But several times. And no matter what I was stupid enough to take her back =/. I mean can you really call that love? Or is it just plain stupidity? Idk. Things haven't been great since we got back from school. Its so weird because right before New Years I saw this shooting start and I made a wish. I wasn't being greedy. I just wished to live a happy life with her and that I would never lose her. And come New Years its like the whole relationship just came crashing down. I wish I would have been warned this shit was gonna happen. I would have never allowed myself to fall too deep. But there was just something about this girl that just drove me crazy. I have NEVER felt this way about anyone in my life and it hurts to say I lost the love of my life. Yeah I could have been a better gf. But I mean I don't know how many times I have to say it over and over again. I'm nowhere near being perfect. In fact I am far from it. Yous are probably reading this right now and are saying to yourselves.. Hey Ness how bout you grow a pair and get the hell over it? But fortunately for me that is impossible. Besides who wants to forget the love of their life? I mean no matter what they put you through and no matter what you put them through you loved them for a reason. I just don't know why. I guess thats true love. I mean if you can pin point all the reasons why you "love" someone your not really in love. You're in "like". Only those who are truly in love can't explain what makes that person so special. Idk. I'm just so confused about everything. I mean nothing makes sense to me. I honestly don't know what I did wrong. And I don't know if I will ever find out. I just know now next time I ever get in to something serious I'm just not gonna give too much of me. This is that time when those walls I used to have up get put back up and stay up. </3
</3 Crashing WavesWhen the tide has risen to its highest peak , and the waves come crashing down, suffocating hard to speak, I'm buried with no sound. Try to listen, pretend to care, can you hear me cry? Hold me close don't let go, don't leave my heart to die. A touch of fear with a kiss of death, is far too much to me. Tired of drownin in these waves so I go reluctantly.
</3 Crashing WavesWhen the tide has risen to its highest peak , and the waves come crashing down, suffocating hard to speak, I'm buried with no sound. Try to listen, pretend to care, can you hear me cry? Hold me close don't let go, don't leave my heart to die. A touch of fear with a kiss of death, is far too much to me. Tired of drownin in these waves so I go reluctantly.